What Exactly IS a Gentleman in the 21st Century?

Bertie Wooster, Tuppy Glossop, and Bingo Little a dozen years on?

Over on the Chap's Guide Youtube channel there was an interesting discussion a day or two ago about the attributes of a gentleman in the 21st century. I urge you check it out. Here are my two cents on the matter.

Regardless of one's station in life, and to my own mind, a gentleman exhibits in no particular order the following characteristics:

Moderation in all things
Kindness to and Respect for Others
Awareness and Empathy
Politesse
Polish and Sophistication (a modicum at least)
Curiosity
An Informed Nature
A Charitable Spirit
Humility
Education. . . Although the FORMAL variety is not necessarily necessary.
Subtle Nonchalance
Calm under pressure, to name just a few.

No doubt, there are many other facets to a gentleman in the 21st century. You'll notice there is nothing about birth or material wealth mentioned in the points above however. And attire, as much as I enjoy looking presentable and appreciate it in others, is actually way down the list. We're not dandies after all, and I say that fully aware of some of my more colorful combinations of garments exhibited here now and then.

However, there is an important caveat for us to keep in mind. The cultivation of gentlemanly behavior is always an ongoing process of personal reflection, conscious efforts to improve ourselves, and the outward practice thereof. Self-awareness, self-control in other words, and we hold ourselves to our own high standards. Hopefully.

Likewise, we acknowledge our mistakes openly, take the necessary steps to avoid repeating them, and move forward through life with a smile. We are a work in progress to put it another way, always striving toward the best version of ourselves without ever actually reaching that endpoint. The cultivation of gentle habits is, indeed, a lifelong journey.

I always chuckle when I think of my son's primary school, nine years ago when we first arrived in Michigan, which had the following motto emblazoned in huge letters across its lobby wall: "Be proactive, make good choices, stop and think."

The mark of a gentle person in 2024, and solid advice for us all.

-- Heinz Ulrich

Comments

Up North Style. . .

Bad Dad makes a friend. YMP and Bad Dad on the shores of Lake Michigan. Or was that Crystal Lake? The Grand Duchess takes a selfie in her kayak. How NOT to impress the girls sunning themselves along the river. YMP and Bad Dad kayaking on the Platte River headed toward Loon Lake. J ust back from a week in Northern Michigan in a charming and spacious house on the banks of the Betsie River outside of Thompsonville. A largely pleasant seven days despite some challenging episodes with the Young Master, who has picked up some very questionable habits and language from his friends in the 8th Grade during the school year just ended. But otherwise, we enjoyed ourselves and contemplated remaining for a few days longer since the house was available. In the end, we decided to return home as planned originally since neither my wife, nor I wanted to spend the remaining days chained to our computers in Zoom meetings from our vacation destination. I actually managed to leave the laptop and ip

Mid-June Thursday Style. . .

A nother pretty typical variation on the theme for late spring, summer, and very early fall. I'm a huge fan of Madras and have several such shirts in the seasonal rotation. Lightweight, exceedingly comfortable, and even dressy when pressed and tucked in, which is the usual way of things here at Totleigh in the Wold. Now, if I had my druthers, I'd still rather be skiing the trails in the upper half of "The Mitten" (of Michigan), in the Upper Peninsula, or Ontario. But summers ain't so bad either, and I'd look pretty funny walking around in cross-country ski attire during June. -- Heinz-Ulrich

A Lazy Saturday at the End of June. . .

A sleepy first half of the weekend here at Totleigh. Warmer and quite humid ahead of an approaching cool front here in Mid-Michigan. Perfect for yet another pair of chino shorts an a seersucker shirt -- tucked in of course -- with the usual leather deck shoes and ribbon belt. Otherwise, not much accomplished beyond a page or so of writing and monkeying around with audio settings for an upcoming podcast episode. However, I was not completely useless yesterday! I made a huge fruit salad for dinner, which the Grand Duchess and I enjoyed a short while later at the table on the back porch. The Young Master, as is his wont on Saturday evenings, took his dinner on a tray in the TV room upstairs where he whiled away a couple of hours on Flight Simulator, flying some sort of commercial airliner to some destination across the Atlantic or Pacific. I would have loved that sort of technology at about nine or 10 way back during the late 1970s, aka The Stone Age. As it is, my sister and

Classic Style

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