Vital Points to Keep in Mind. . .

Some may scoff, but the family depicted in this 60+ year-old photograph looks extremely pleasant. Don't we want others to think something similar about us?

In many online discussion forums, some of which do not necessarily concern clothing, there are a lot people who view manners and dressing decently as somehow false, stiff, and unnecessary. What a sad state of affairs that is. How can basic polite behavior and consideration for those around us be bad things?

The truth is that there is nothing at all fake about coming across as a nice and agreeable individual, whether at work, at a ball game with friends, or enjoying a glass of lemonade with the family on the back porch. As average guys, let's strive for better standards in our personal interaction with others -- including our behavior at the table -- and the way we dress. It's just the right thing to do.

If we make an effort to remember and practice the things our families hopefully taught us*, good manners and proper decorum will not come across as insincere and forced. They will, instead be what they should. Natural, easy, and comfortable. Like a well worn-in pair of loafers. You don't even have to think about them, but they are there. You wear 'em all the time without a second thought. They're just part of the scenery.

Making a good impression with people -- friends of long standing and new acquaintances both -- is not about tacky and ostentatious displays, obnoxious bragging, or making others feel bad about themselves. Demonstrating a certain level of basic respect for people, occasions, and settings is, however, vital when it comes to leaving a favorable impression with those we meet. Even if you're knocking back a few cold ones at the campsite with your old college buddies after a day of fishing on the lake.

Essential Reading*

Dressing the Man: Mastering the Art of Permanent Fashion by Alan Flusser (2002)

Clothes and the Man: Principles of Fine Men's Dress by Alan Flusser (1985)

Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why by Peter Post 2nd Ed. (2012)

Gentleman: A Timeless Guide to Fashion by Berhard Roetzel (2012)

NOTE! -- There are many, many books available on dressing and conducting oneself like an adult with some grooming and sophistication. These four titles, besides presenting their subject matter in engaging and interesting ways, offer insight into the basics and more advanced concepts of clothing and good manners. All are excellent references to have on the bookshelf in the living room or the bedside table for easy referral.

Comments

Up North Style. . .

Bad Dad makes a friend. YMP and Bad Dad on the shores of Lake Michigan. Or was that Crystal Lake? The Grand Duchess takes a selfie in her kayak. How NOT to impress the girls sunning themselves along the river. YMP and Bad Dad kayaking on the Platte River headed toward Loon Lake. J ust back from a week in Northern Michigan in a charming and spacious house on the banks of the Betsie River outside of Thompsonville. A largely pleasant seven days despite some challenging episodes with the Young Master, who has picked up some very questionable habits and language from his friends in the 8th Grade during the school year just ended. But otherwise, we enjoyed ourselves and contemplated remaining for a few days longer since the house was available. In the end, we decided to return home as planned originally since neither my wife, nor I wanted to spend the remaining days chained to our computers in Zoom meetings from our vacation destination. I actually managed to leave the laptop and ip

Mid-June Thursday Style. . .

A nother pretty typical variation on the theme for late spring, summer, and very early fall. I'm a huge fan of Madras and have several such shirts in the seasonal rotation. Lightweight, exceedingly comfortable, and even dressy when pressed and tucked in, which is the usual way of things here at Totleigh in the Wold. Now, if I had my druthers, I'd still rather be skiing the trails in the upper half of "The Mitten" (of Michigan), in the Upper Peninsula, or Ontario. But summers ain't so bad either, and I'd look pretty funny walking around in cross-country ski attire during June. -- Heinz-Ulrich

A Lazy Saturday at the End of June. . .

A sleepy first half of the weekend here at Totleigh. Warmer and quite humid ahead of an approaching cool front here in Mid-Michigan. Perfect for yet another pair of chino shorts an a seersucker shirt -- tucked in of course -- with the usual leather deck shoes and ribbon belt. Otherwise, not much accomplished beyond a page or so of writing and monkeying around with audio settings for an upcoming podcast episode. However, I was not completely useless yesterday! I made a huge fruit salad for dinner, which the Grand Duchess and I enjoyed a short while later at the table on the back porch. The Young Master, as is his wont on Saturday evenings, took his dinner on a tray in the TV room upstairs where he whiled away a couple of hours on Flight Simulator, flying some sort of commercial airliner to some destination across the Atlantic or Pacific. I would have loved that sort of technology at about nine or 10 way back during the late 1970s, aka The Stone Age. As it is, my sister and

Classic Style

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