What Exactly IS a Gentleman in the 21st Century?

 

Bertie Wooster, Tuppy Glossop, and Bingo Little a dozen years on?

Over on the Chap's Guide Youtube channel there was an interesting discussion a day or two ago about the attributes of a gentleman in the 21st century.  I urge you check it out.  Here are my two cents on the matter.

Regardless of one's station in life, and to my own mind, a gentleman exhibits in no particular order the following characteristics:

• Moderation in all things 
• Kindness to and Respect for Others
  
• Awareness and Empathy 
• Politesse 
• Polish and Sophistication (a modicum at least)
  
• Curiosity 
• An Informed Nature
• A Charitable Spirit 
• Humility
  
• Education. . .  Although the FORMAL variety is not necessarily necessary.
• Subtle Nonchalance
  
• Calm under pressure, to name just a few.

 

No doubt, there are many other facets to a gentleman in the 21st century.  You'll notice there is nothing about birth or material wealth mentioned in the points above however.  And attire, as much as I enjoy looking presentable and appreciate it in others, is actually way down the list. We're not dandies after all, and I say that fully aware of some of my more colorful combinations of garments exhibited here now and then. 

However, there is an important caveat for us to keep in mind.  The cultivation of gentlemanly behavior is always an ongoing process of personal reflection, conscious efforts to improve ourselves, and the outward practice thereof.  Self-awareness, self-control in other words, and we hold ourselves to our own high standards.  Hopefully.  

Likewise, we acknowledge our mistakes openly, take the necessary steps to avoid repeating them, and move forward through life with a smile.  We are a work in progress to put it another way, always striving toward the best version of ourselves without ever actually reaching that endpoint.  The cultivation of gentle habits is, indeed, a lifelong journey.

I always chuckle when I think of my son's primary school, nine years ago when we first arrived in Michigan, which had the following motto emblazoned in huge letters across its lobby wall: "Be proactive, make good choices, stop and think."

The mark of a gentle person in 2024, and solid advice for us all.

-- Heinz Ulrich