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Let's Take Them Under Our Wings. . .


During our chat in the car on the way to his Tae Kwon Do lessons yesterday, my son informed me yesterday, apropos of nothing, that numerous children and male teachers at his intermediate school not only keep their baseball caps on inside all day, but they also sit down to the lunch table without first removing said headgear.  He asked "Why?" to which I replied that they probably did not know any better since it was obvious no one had ever told them otherwise.

My question is, why don't any teachers instruct the children to leave their hats and caps in their lockers?  Where am I?  The present is indeed a foreign country.  

These days, there are probably many who (knowingly) take great pleasure and pride in flaunting social convention.  Just go to any public space where trashy, crass, loud, and downright rude are on full display without any embarrassment whatsoever.  And that is without even taking the virtual world of social media into consideration. 

My late grandfather had a word he used for people lacking in the social graces.  Coarse. 


Yesterday evening, as The Grand Duchess and I enjoyed a bottle of Portugese red wine by the hearth, she remarked that the now 12-year old Young Master needed some new masks since he is growing out of a few that he wears to school each day.  My wife paused and then asked, 

"Do you know anywhere to find him some adult-sized cotton masks?"  

"Do I know?" I replied with emphasis.  "Leave it to me."

This (Sunday) morning, I quietly visited J. Press online while enjoying that first mug of coffee.  I ordered our son a small assortment of madras and oxford cloth masks, which ought to do the trick each week for a while until his second vaccination and any boosters that might be required.

Why not take the opportunity to begin grooming him in the art of professional men's attire and accessories?  If more young and teen-aged boys actually saw their fathers or male role models dress and present themselves well to the rest of the world (not to mention at home with the front door closed), putting on leather dress shoes, a tie, and jacket would not be that much of a mental leap.

That might do something to slow our long, slow, horrible slide toward appearing for public consumption clad in. . .  a sagging diaper. 

Gentlemen (and ladies), we owe it to the male youths in our lives to school them in how best to behave and present themselves for all environments and occasions.  I would argue that, in most instances, there should be little difference in how we conduct ourselves whether out in public, or at home in private.  While suits and neckties may no longer be necessary in many workplaces, and they are certainly not required around the dinner table at home, there is an awful lot about polite behavior that should be consistent regardless of the setting.

You know what I mean?  Leave that kind of behavior in the barnyard where it belongs. 

On the contrary, let's strive to make both an initially favorable impression AND maintain it over time.  Let's do that for our family behind closed doors as well as those we meet on the outside.  Let's make a point of taking our young men under the collective wing and point them in the right direction socially speaking.  It's simply nicer for everyone at home, in the car, on campus, at the office, or out on the town. 

-- Heinz-Ulrich


  1. Well-said, as always.

    Here's another YouTube channel I just found that I think you would also enjoy. I had seen this gentleman post pictures of himself periodically on StyleForum, but I never knew who he is or that he has a YT channel until now.

  2. Thank you for your kind words and the YouTube link! I've added it the the Interesting Style Links at right.

    Best Regards,


  3. My husband and I often discuss the lack of decorum in 'the wild' and are always mystified. We often come to the conclusion that leading by example is what we're doing, even to strangers. When a stranger notices my husband at the grocery store in an OCBD and chinos with *real* leather (!) shoes, I hope that person is inspired by him. When a woman clad in sweatpants and blue hair notices my dress or silk scarf, I hope I inspire her.

    Congratulations to the Young Master on his J. Press mask upgrade! We originally ordered from Brooks a the start of the pandemic, and quickly ordered a few from J. Press as well. Excellent quality!

    I found your blog via Byron Tully. Very enjoyable!



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All opinions are welcome here. Even those that differ from mine. But let's keep it clean and civil, please.

-- Heinz-Ulrich

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