Can We Take Our Cues from Stoicism?

 

One of many old Laurence Fellows illustrations of which I am so fond.  I've always referred to this particular one as "Rex and Jeffrey in Discussion."

 

Although I know very little about stoic philosophy, it strikes me that there might be a few interesting points in its basic teachings that we can apply to our own efforts to cultivate more pleasant, positive, and I dare suggest gentlemanly thought and behavior during what promises to be an otherwise unpleasant stretch.  Here goes: 

1) As much as we might like to think so, we don’t live in isolation of others.  Rather,we must learn to cooperate and even collaborate with them.  That point occurred to me during the height of the global pandemic a few years ago, during all of the daily politicized back and forth about masks, vaccines, along with the embarrassingly uninformed speculation about injecting other chemicals into people to cleanse their systems.  Against that media backdrop, I finally realized that many of the people opposed to good public health practices are, whatever you might think, our neighbors after all.  As difficult as it might be to wrap our heads around their variety of thought, word, and deed, aren’t they just as deserving of some kindness and compassion nonetheless?

 

2) We have an obligation to interact with society and participate in public life to the best of our ability.  Or as my maternal grandfather used to advise the adolescent me whenever I grumbled about a household task, “Son, sometimes you’ve got to do a few things that you don’t want to do.”  To put it another way, and looking back again -- in this case at childhood disputes with my sister when we were four, five, and six years old -- you've got to learn to get along with those around you.  Something ol' Mom and Dad said to us both until they were blue in the face.  In a nutshell, it is too easy, as the end of 2024 approaches, to say "Screw 'em!" and turn our backs on our neighbors and the rest of the world whether we agree with and like them, or not.  20th century history has illustrated more than once what happens when people and nations take that particular exit from the motorway.  Do we really need to repeat the experience again?  Hyper-individualism and exceptionalism, in part, have brought us to the point at which we find ourselves.  A change of tack is called for.

 

3) We are in charge of ourselves and can choose what we do, how we do it, and when we do it.  Or not.  Unfortunate turns do not simply happen to us but, more often, result from the decisions we make, or avoid making, which in itself is a choice.  A point we are making with our own sometimes recalcitrant 15-year-old.  To give that idea a bit more relevance, we can choose how we react to any given development on many different levels.  Taking another cue from my maternal grandparents during my formative years, quit grousing about it.  If you are unhappy about a situation, look around, find something related to change the state of things, and get cracking.  Time waits for no man, or anyone else for that matter.  Are we going to be part of the solution?  Or, through prolonged stasis, part of the problem?

 

4) We have little control over other people, and what they do or say.  But we do have internal control over ourselves, our thinking, and how we approach life.  Not happy with a particular situation or development?  Take positive action instead of getting stuck in an endless loop of "Would'ves, Could'ves, Should'ves, and Shouldn't Have Tos," something the much younger me learned from an old high school friend, a career officer in the US Army Judge Advocate General's (JAG) Corps.  Let's stop wallowing in our sorrow and disappointment in other words.  The familiar refrain of "Woe is me.  If only we had done X, Y, or Z. . ." changes nothing if we're honest.  And we've all been guilty of that at one time or another.  Instead of that indulgence, and with an eye toward improving things, let's figure out a more productive way to move ahead rather than spin perpetually in place.  My late father was more succinct.  Talk is cheap. 

 

5) Likewise, placing too great a stock in fear, foment, and wishful thinking will rarely achieve the coveted change of status.  Misplaced emotions and hope alone will not somehow make others see the light, realize the error of their ways, and alter their behavior.  Or magically transform the current state of affairs in which we now find ourselves embroiled.  Rather, we must take steps the modify the picture through socially acceptable, legal means of course.  Even if that is in a very small way.  Again, we are in charge of ourselves.  Endless apron-twisting in consternation, to the contrary, is pointless.  Calm and more informed rationale along with a broader perspective, to the contrary, puts us in a stronger position from which to enact positive change in our lives.

 

6) On that note, we cannot blame others or complain when things don’t go our way.  Instead, we should remove the rose-colored glasses for a few moments (at least), examine our situation from a more realistic perspective, and figure out concrete steps that we can take to improve the outcome moving forward.  A point I make many times each semester with the undergraduates I teach, many of whom overestimate their ability to develop solid work in too little time due to that old student bugaboo. . .  Procrastination.  Pointing fingers and playing the blame card seems to be equally popular here, but that too is just as unproductive.  "Suck it up, buttercup!" as the old saying goes and figure it out.  More often than most of us might care to admit, the answer is closer than the tip of our own noses.  We are ultimately responsible for what befalls us and and free to choose how we work through the aftermath.  Others will not step in to do that for us.  If we want to put a more distinctly Christian spin on things, God helps those who help themselves.

 

7) Finally, a point I made in my previous post, which seems to align well with Stoic teachings.  Self-improvement is an ongoing journey without end.  We must make conscious and consistent efforts to learn, reflect, recognize our flaws and mistakes, revise our approach, and move forward instead of rowing endlessly in circles around the drain of life and society.  Another point I make, albeit in slightly different language, with the students who cry foul after receiving grades that, while their submitted work might approach or meet expectations (typically in the "C" and "B" ranges), it does not necessarily exceed ("A" range) the criteria outlined in my collaborative project packets, which contain detailed pr0mpts and grading rubrics for students to use in the development of said work.

 

Now, I am fully aware that many will not care for, or identify with these ideas.  Looking at oneself in the bright light of day is not a comfortable exercise for most of us after all.  My late mother once observed, not that many years ago, that it is the highly unusual person who is willing to peer into that particular mental and emotional abyss.  By the same token, I also recognize that many thinkers, perhaps better versed in Stoicism or other schools of philosophic thought, will be able to punch gaping holes into my argument.  I am a mere dilettante after all.  Moreover, the stoic approach to life is not without its own set of problems and critics.  However, there might well be some valuable takeaway points to glean from the monologue laid out here and incorporate them into one's own approach to the darker world around us.  Or at least debate in the classic sense of the term.  

What say you?

Finally, some readers might find The Daily Stoic website an interesting read.  It is one of several places online that has brought my own thinking into sharper focus during recent weeks.

-- Heinz-Ulrich 

 

 

 

"A debate in the classic sense refers to a formal discussion where two opposing sides present well-structured arguments, supported by evidence, with the goal of pursuading an audience to accept their perspective on a particular topic, often with a structured format including opening statements, rebuttals, and closing arguments, where civility and logical reasoning are prioritized over personal attacks"  (Google AI Overview, Novermber, 16, 2024).