Problems and disappointments in your life? Um, it might be more you than anyone or anything else.
Disappointed with how things are going? Lots of us have been there (I certainly have), and too many average guys find themselves in that same boat now and then. But however crummy you might perceive the current situation to be, and before you complain too loudly about the unfair hand life has dealt you, consider the following:
1) It might be you.
You might need to grow up. Being an adult means that a person must accept responsibility and learns to exercise self-control in all areas of his life. A lot of average guys, whether they are 20 or 60, seem to forget this. And yes. You are correct. Growing up is not always fun, but there you are.
2) You are not the center of the universe.
The world does not stop turning on its axis just because you have had a bad day or some imagined disappointment. If Mom and Dad have led to to believe otherwise, they've done you a disservice. Wake up.
3) The world owes you nothing.
It's always amzing to me the number of people whose attitudes and beavior clearly indicate they think the world, in fact, DOES owe them something. Don't be that kind of guy.
4) There are no guarantees in life.
The pie in the sky visions that are constantly spoon fed to us are, very often, just that. Pie in the sky. For example, it's not really possible to, "Earn a bachelor's degree in your spare time!" if you are already pulled in too many other directions with work and life. Develop a healthy skepticism and don't swallow everything your see, read, or are told hook, line, and sinker.
5) No one likes a whiner.
That's not the way to win friends, influence people, or change anything. Punkt.
6) Stop blaming everyone and everything else.
Often, we are our own worst enemies and do more to create and/or exacerbate our problems than anyone else.
7) Change can only come from within you.
It is no one else's responsibility to change your life or situation. Stop telling me it is.
8) Take charge of your own life, and become self-reliant.
On a related noted, you cannot depend on anyone else to fix your problems or just outright screw-ups. A willingness to recognize and acknowledge that is the key.
9) Put a stop to your own negative behaviors and attitudes.
This might require that you slow down, take serious, realisitic stock of your life and habits, and get that runaway train back on the rails. Know what I mean?
10) Seek help if and when you need it.
There is nothing wrong with asking for assistance, regardless of the situation in question. Forget all of that macho garbage you might be weighted down with. It's a millstone around your neck, and it's drowning you. Let it go, and get help if necessary.
11) Life ain't always a bed of roses.
Life ain't always life the movies. Metaphorically speaking, sometimes, in spite of doing everything right, the good guy doesn't get the money or the girl and ride off into the sunset. Get used to it.
12) Sometimes, life throws you curveballs.
Suck it up and move forward, cowboy.
13) Ultimately, you are responsible for yourself.
If you are no longer living under Mom and Dad's roof -- Surprise! -- you need to accept responsibility for yourself and your actions.
14) Recognize your own shortcomings and stop repeating the same mistakes.
Open you eyes to recurring patterns and self-destructive behaviors on your part. To varying degrees, a lot of us have them. Stop letting them hold sway over your life.
15) Don't be afraid to make any necessary changes.
You might need to shake things up and make some tough decisions about the people and situations in your life.
Hard advice. Not fun or pleasant to hear. Looking at ourselves can be exceedingly uncomfortable much of the time, and most of us resist doing so to one degree or another. Yours truly included. Nevertheless, it's necessary from time to time. In particular when things never seem to go right and fall apart over and over again. It just might be due more to you and the choices you've made than because of outside influences. Time to break out of that trap, take stock of your situation, and make some lasting changes.
-- Heinz-Ulrich
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All opinions are welcome here. Even those that differ from mine. But let's keep it clean and civil, please.
-- Heinz-Ulrich